The Reds Against the Mancs

Posted: January 31, 2012 in LFC Verse, Liverpool FC

I’ve updated this a couple of times since  I wrote it about ten years ago, for example all the Spanish-tinged verses from the Rafa Benitez era, but somebody pointed out how out-of-date it had become again.  So here goes again – this version is for Ian, who requested the update.

Please notice that about two thirds of the verses are in speech marks, as I imagine them to be a passionate rant by someone like Jamie Carragher himself, as he tries to educate and inspire any non-Scouse team-mates who are new to this fixture.  To be read aloud.

The Reds against the Mancs

It’s the battle of the East Lancs Road,
A commercial rivalry a hundred years old,
About shipping and spinning, silver and gold,
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

It’s Melwood guile v. Fergie’s bile
How easy is that tw*t to rile ?
It’s his grimace v. the wry Scouse smile,
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

“It’s like Catalans or Basques versus Real,”
Said red-hearted Carra to his new Spanish pals
“It’s more important than the ‘Mundial’
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

“It’s viva Liverpool ! Andele, andele !
It’s Skrtel getting stuck into Rooney – Olé !
Let’s give Vidic & Ferdinand one hell of a day
For the Reds against the Mancs !

“Oh aye it’s  better than the best bullfights
When Stevie tackles those gobshites
Get into Neville and punch out his lights
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

“F*ck their Shreks and Smiths & their treasons
This one’s for love, not  money reasons.
Let’s make it a habit, like we did for seasons,
Let’s tw*t these f*ckin Mancs.

“It’s about who needs to catch who  up,
It’s ding-dong battles in League and Cup
It’s when we needed him, Danny stepped up
For the Reds against the Mancs.

“It’s Flash Gerrard against Emperor Ming
It’s having dreams and songs to sing
Not letting the Dark Lord get your ring!
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

“It’s the Enterprise v. the Clingons of course
It’s Star wars – can you feel the force?
It’s Red Rum against any other horse,
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

“It’s usually at ungodly hours of morning
Thanks to Sky and police ‘warnings’.
The atmosphere is not heart-warming
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

“It’s about a pedestal and pushing  them off it
It’s about passion and pride, not PR or profit
The moneymen know where they can stuff it !
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

“It’s not Carlsberg versus Vodaphone,
It’s nick nack paddy wack, give the dog a bone
It’s Man United f*ck off home
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

“It’s Pete Wiley versus Morrissey,
The Bunnymen versus Magazine,
Cast against the Stone Roses,
… OK, some you lose  to the Mancs.

“It’s about blinding vision, about silencing the noise,
Hymns about messiahs and very naughty boys,
And fleeting epiphanies of skill and poise,
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

“It’s hearing “In your Liverpool slums !”
It’s “Posh Spice tum-te-tum-te-tum”
It’s boring refrains of  “Sign On ! Sign On !”
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

“It’s ha ha ha, it’s hee hee hee
It’s Bryan Robson’s got VD,
If he comes too close he’ll give it to me –
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

“It’s Georgie Best , superstar,
Pink frilly knickers and a playtex bra,
Bingeing and boozing and  crashing fast cars –
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

“It’s the devil in the detail of your crest
Or a  Liverbird upon your chest,
For we are men of Shankly’s best –
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.”

It’s traditional rivalry, to which this rant belongs,
But could it be time to stop the worst of the songs?
Could it be nothing good ever came of two wrongs,
In the Reds against the Mancs?

Yes, both sides have mindless minorities of hate,
But stop the chants about Hillsborough or Munich ’58
No matter who does what to intimidate.
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

It’s ‘nevra again’, it’s time to kick it out,
It’s engage your brain before you shout.
Only moral high ground is worth fighting about
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

But when the moral ground’s claimed  by a US executive,
Or by a bleating bully whose moral vision is selective ,
Then it’s time to get a grip and get some perspective –
On the Reds against the Mancs.

We’ve both got our share of idiots who embarrass us all,
And sad dummies in the stands who know f*ck all,
But we’re not small-time clubs with our backs against the wall,
We’re the Reds against the Mancs.

It’s not about a bandwagon & jumping on,
When the bubble bursts they’ll be gone;
First ones off are the last ones on,
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

It’s not about Hicks, Gillette or the FSG,
It’s not about a PLC or the Glazer family;
F*ck all them – it’s about you and me,
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

Both cities  have suffered past neglect,
It’s been up to both clubs to earn respect,
Reap what you sow, cause & effect,
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

I thought “they’ll never overtake us while I’m alive!”
But stats can change, and fortunes can revive,
It’s about nineteen and eighteen, three and FIVE
It’s the Reds against the Mancs !

It’s about your head, about your heart,
Your identity, history, your craft and art;
It’s 40 miles, but it’s worlds apart,
It’s the Reds against the Mancs.

Ding-dong! Super Danny steps up and scores for the Reds against the Mancs last Saturday, helping send United crashing out of the FA Cup.

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